Go With Your Gut

Have you ever had that feeling in your gut that tells you that you NEED to do something? I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. It’s that unrelenting, urging in your soul to move you forward to do something. It may be something you feel very good about but it could also be something that you may be feeling a little trepidation. Regardless, you are moved to act.

Last January, I had a gut feeling that I needed to go to Miami Beach for Get Connected 2010. Financially, it was not a super time for me to leave. But I had made a promise to the organizers Beth and LuAnn that I would come to help out and I really wanted to keep my word. I wanted to hold true to myself and the promise I had made. I was in fact excited to hear and learn from the speaker lineup and knew I would walk away with some fantastic ideas that would improve the success of my business. So, I went.

The benefits I received from attending this event were beyond my wildest dreams and to this day the transformation that I experienced is indescribable. Yes, it was fun but more importantly, it changed my life.

One of the people I was able to get to know better was Frank De Raffele. He was kind and interested in my business but also me as a person and as a peer.

Fast forward to few months later… Frank announced the launch of an Entrepreneurial Excellence Business Forum in Florida. I read about it and thought to myself, wouldn’t it be great to have the kinds of conversations I had with Frank in Miami on a monthly basis! His ideas were out of the box and in my opinion brilliant! So, I asked him, what it would take to get one of those here in Minnesota?

I’m proud to say, last night was the launch of the Entrepreneurial Excellence Business Forum here in Minneapolis.

As a Once Timid Networker, this is something that I would never have dreamed possible. If I wouldn’t have gone with my gut 6 months ago, I wouldn’t be standing here today beaming from the success of last night. I wouldn’t have the opportunity I had last night, to help the 28 people that were in the room to strive for new goals that could change their life. And I certainly wouldn’t have the feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment that I feel today for reaching beyond what was comfortable for me.

Is your gut telling you something? Is your soul pushing you towards something that’s out of your comfort zone? Are you feeling like there is something more for you, a larger picture? Or, have you made a promise to yourself that you feel the desire to stay true to?

Why not take steps today. Move forward and be true to yourself. Yes, some things may seem a bit like a gamble. Some things you may not know the outcome until you do it. But the thing is, you won’t know until you try. Go with your gut!

Tara Schmakel
The Workroom at Tara's
Entrepreneurial Excellence

Could you be like Wayne?

I’ve been a member of BNI (Business Network International) for 5 ½ years. I was very timid and scared at my chapter meetings but knew I was where I needed to be to grow my business. As much as I loved my meetings, I also disliked them. It was not in my nature to talk to people I didn’t know. On my 30 minute drive, I would practice the commercial I had prepared but I would also think those thoughts that are so destructive. One of them being, who will I talk to? What if nobody talks to me?? By the time I arrived at the meeting, I was sick to my stomach with anxiety.

As a Once Timid Networker, I would arrive and put my things down at the seat I had selected then scan the room for the nearest escape, the coffee and treats, and a possible friendly face. Wayne would always catch my eye and wave across the room to me. He was and older gentleman with a very kind eyes and a warm smile. He was so friendly and I realized I could always go to his side and he would welcome me into the conversation. There were a few times I tried to go to another circle but ended up feeling more ridiculous than I did already, since although they acknowledged my presence, they didn’t include me. I grew to absolutely loath “Open Networking” and it was a nightmare if Wayne wasn’t there.

Fast forward about a year. My friend Kevin Snow (and now fellow Director) asked me to fill in for him at a group who was in the process of becoming a BNI chapter. Looking back, he must have been desperate for help and I must have been on cold medication! I have no idea why he asked me or why I said yes (lol). He handed me a sheet of paper that said something like “Mentoring checklist”. I put on my best pretend-a-ambassador face and went to teach this group about being a mentor and what it could mean to a new member.

As I prepared for this and researched the material for this presentation, it touched my heart and stirred my soul because I realized that I was not the only one who felt scared at their initial BNI meetings. I reflected on the way that Wayne had treated me. His warmth and how he always seemed happy to see me. He was approachable and made me feel as though I belonged there at that meeting. When I had a question, I knew I could ask him. When there were trainings coming up, he asked if I would like to join the group who was going. I realized, what if every member had their own version of my friend Wayne?

Shortly after that, I became and ambassador with the sole purpose of teaching chapters the value of the mentor program. We have researched and modified the program and have developed a system that is incredible and that our region is very proud of.

My point is, take the time. Whether it’s at your BNI chapter or any other social function and find that lost soul. The person who won’t make eye contact and is wringing their hands. The one standing (or sitting) at their seat. They are looking for a reason to get the heck out of there! Give them a reason to stay. Help them to feel comfortable and at ease. You may be giving them something that they have never experienced before. You might be pivotal in their success. You might be the one, who makes a difference for that person. I haven’t seen Wayne in years, but I hope he realizes how he helped me. Without him, I may have left the group and never become the Once Timid Networker.

Become a Mentor.

Tara Schmakel- The Workroom at Tara's

I was STAR STRUCK!!

I was recently at the National BNI Conference in Pittsburgh. I love these conferences because they give me energy and feed my soul. Being around other likeminded people is stimulating and I love being able to take in and learn from all of the other Directors. I’ve always felt a little like a wall flower, just observing and absorbing everything, everyone said. But something happened this time that made me feel… well, like I was a small, blossoming flower in the middle of the garden.

I had gone to Florida early for some other business training and so I missed the Author Mentoring Telebridge that I normally would have listened in on. When I got to Pittsburgh on Wednesday, I asked one of my colleagues what I had missed on the call. They then told me, “Oh it was good, we went over the articles, there were a few questions… etc. OH and Hazel talked about your blog!” My heart skipped a beat. Hazel is the one who co-anchors the call with Dr. Misner. I knew she had commented on my blog but assumed she did that for everyone in the program. “Yeah, she said we should all go check out your blog because you do a good job with it.” At first I thought he was teasing me. But when I realize he wasn’t, I couldn’t believe it!!

I approached Hazel later on and introduced myself. As a Once Timid Networker and if you have read any other entries of this blog, you can imagine the challenge that was going on inside of me. A mixture of, what if she doesn’t know who I am? What if she’s too busy to talk to me? What if I stumble all over myself? What if my friend really was teasing and she doesn’t know what I’m talking about?? Who do I think I am…This was HAZEL WALKER!! The Queen of Networking!!

But also, there was a small measure of pride at the thought that I was doing a good job and my message was being heard.

Well, I’m here to tell you, she couldn’t have been more kind. Her smile was warm, her hug was just the right amount of tightness and every time she saw me she went out of her way to say hello. Plus, she remembered my name AND how to say it!! She talked to me. We even had breakfast together and discussed directions I could take this blog that I have grown to enjoy writing so much. I was star struck!

When I left the conference, I had acquired a new mentor. Thank you sweet Hazel for all your kind words, laughs and hugs…This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Tara Schmakel- The Workroom at Tara's

Tools and Networking Part 3 (The Feather)

Let’s continue with our “Tools and Networking” discussion that linked back to that little green Starbucks stick. We are talking about tools that make it easier to deliver our message. The next one I would like to share is “The magic feather”.

Did you see Dumbo? Remember the part when Dumbo gets stuck in the tree and the Crows give him a magic feather that would “help” him to fly? Dumbo placed it in his little trunk and could fly! However he eventually realized that the feather was just a something to give him the confidence to do what he was capable all along. The feather wasn’t really magical, it was a tool.

Have you ever noticed that when you are wearing clothing that is clean, looks nice on you and fits properly, you carry yourself completely different? You have confidence and are not distracted by fidgeting with your clothing to make sure you “look” like you have it together. Not only that, but others are impressed with your demeanor because of how professional and confident you appear. Because of that, you are able to present and deliver your message with a greater degree of fortitude.

So, go into your closet, select a few “go to” outfits that always fit and always look nice. You may get complements when you wear them. (And silly as it may seem, this Once Timid Networker has even made notes of the particular outfits, including the accessories just so I don't have to think about it.) These are your “Magic Feathers”. If you look into your closet and can’t find a feather, bring a trusted friend shopping with you and purchase some. Or you could even hire an image consultant. You won’t be sorry.

Then next time you have an event you may be a little intimidated by, throw on a “feather”. It will give you the confidence to do what you were capable of all along… and just watch how you soar!

Tara Schmakel- The Workroom at Tara’s

The Shaking of a Hand

In January, this Once Timid Networker made a new friend, Tony Wolfe. He has become a very good friend and someone I look forward to seeing and chatting with when his name pops up on my Facebook Chat list. He is always positive and has a delightful smile and friendly voice.

Today is is my honor to have him be a "Guest" blogger for The Once Timid Networker... Thank you Tony for being inspirational and for being my friend.

Tara Schmakel, The Workroom at Tara's


I'm walking into a meeting/networking event and a bit timid because I have zero pre-existing relationships with anyone in the room. I'm the new guy. But wait, they don't know me either so that makes them the new guy to me.

I begin to roam the room hoping that an ambassador or an appointed connector will spot me and approach me to save me from my agony. It happens. A very nice lady walks directly toward me making eye contact and displaying a big smile with her outreached arm. She was walking at a fast pace directly toward me to give me a warm welcome. I'm looking forward to this. She looks fabulous and professional. I can feel her energy before she even gets to me. I extend my hand, she hers and we make that initial connection with a handshake.

We interlocked and maintained throughout the introductions. She was firm, yet gentle with the clasp of my hand. She wouldn't let go. Then, her other hand came into play. My right hand was now sandwiched between the two of hers. The usual up and down handshake protocol was in full force. I was unsure as to just when (or if) I was going to be turned loose. I wasn't necessarily uncomfortable but I was beginning to wish that I would be set free sometime soon.

She was letting me know, through both her words and the eternal handshake that she was happy to meet me and happy to introduce me to folks in the room.

Once released, I felt like a new man. I was now set free from my anxiety about being in a room full of strangers. I was escorted from one cluster of people to another being introduced as a visitor for the day.

I will remember that handshake forever. The impact that something as simple as a handshake can have is remarkable.

What impact are you having on people when you meet them for the first time? GO DO!™

Tools and Networking- Part 2

Our last post discussed tools we use to improve our networking and social activities. I talked about that little green stick and how it made my coffee drinking experience better for travel and delivery. It kept my beverage true by keeping it hot and it definitely made a lasting impression.
How can we make our networking experience better?

First impressions are the most important. Another person decides within seconds what their impression of you is. Most of us want to make a good first impression and for those who don’t want to, this probably isn’t the article you are looking for ((big smile)). That said, if we are looking to make a good impression there are several things that a person takes note of before they will open up to you mentally. We all have different things we look at but since I’m the one writing this, I will tell you what I see first!

A person’s smile.

If a new acquaintance smiles at me with a true, friendly smile- you know the kind where your eyes squint in the corners, I am almost always taken by that person! I don’t think I’m unique in that perception either.

Look at how the human race responds to a smile? You can’t help but smile when you see a baby and our goal is almost always to try to get that little one to smile. A child’s smile is beautiful with the innocence they have in their hearts and minds. And I must say when I’ve been able to make the most surly teenager smile, I feel as if I’ve won the prize of the day!

As adults, stresses take over and some people almost stop smiling. There was a cashier at my local grocery store that NEVER smiled. My daughter, Phia and I made it a goal to warm her to us so that we could see her smile. It took a few months but what a beautiful smile she had. Now, she smiles when she sees us coming.

It’s true, the expression on your face is one of the first things a person sees. There have been countless songs written about smiling. As much as I got burned out on the soundtrack of Annie when I was a little girl, the song is true. You’re never fully dressed without a smile!

So try it. Next time you are in a situation when you are around people, try smiling. It can make the coldest person warm to you and put the most timid person at ease. Ask me how I know…

((Big Smile))


Tara Schmakel- The Workroom at Tara’s and The Once Timid Networker

The green Starbucks stick and Networking?

I would like to tell you about one of my favorite, coolest, simplest inventions. The little green stick you get at Starbucks. I have no idea what it is really called, but I love them! For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s a green plastic stick that fits perfectly into the opening on the cup cover. It has the Starbucks logo on the top. And it’s absolutely ingenious!

The first time I saw one, I was visiting my Aunt Val in Florida. She took us out for a cup and then asked if I had “ever seen one of these before?” I hadn’t and then she told me they were in the experimental stages and gave me a few. I took the extras home and put them in my car. I used and washed and reused. I loved how much easier this tool had made my coffee drinking experience.

Travel was easier because I could walk as well as drive without the coffee spilling out, either on me or my car(I hate when that happens). Delivery to a friend was easier because not only did it keep the beverage from splashing out, it also kept it hot! Yes, such a great tool!!

About four or five months later, I saw them here in Minnesota at my own favorite Starbucks location. I asked for one and they were surprised I knew what they were since they had just received them. I told them about the great impression this little item had made on me and then proceeded to sing its praises. I’m not really sure what they thought of me when I left but I didn’t care, I loved the new look of my cup!

I was removing one from my coffee lid the other day, still appreciating the value of this little tool. I smiled to myself, did a little dance in my head for the sheer coolness of it and then inspiration hit me! I thought about how we use tools to deliver our message when we network. Things that make a lasting impression, like that little green stick. What tools do you use tools to make your “delivery” easier? If you think about it, there are many at our disposal. Some are leveraged without even thinking about it, others that are very well planned out!

The next few posts will focus on specific tools, how we can use it to our benefit as well as a few things to avoid.

Tara Schmakel- The Workroom at Tara's